Q: Dear Pocket Parent,

What is the root of silliness? Our sons, ages 7 and 5, are driving us crazy with a combination of boisterous laughing inside the house or at the dinner table at inappropriate times, using potty humor or trying to roughhouse with Daddy when it's a bad time. Sometimes the 5-year-old will run away from me when he knows I want him to come, like upstairs for bedtime. I've talked about self-control with him and that has helped a bit, but sometimes he doesn't listen. What can I read? Is there something I'm missing? Thanks a lot!

A: Dear Mom,

Silliness is rooted in a healthy family constellation where humor is nurtured and respected. So, take it as a compliment to your parenting. Unfortunately, it occasionally pops up at inopportune moments when cooperation would be greatly appreciated.

One idea is to face it with more of the same. In other words, lighten up, yourself. When he runs away, laughing and taunting you that he has no plans of cooperating, say something like, "Whoops, that magical force must be whisking you away from me again...I know what that means... you need a great big Mommy hug...Ready or not, here I come!" If you're in the mood to play along, it can work After the hug, you can take his hand and guide him where he needs to go (maybe even continuing in a silly voice).

As far as the boisterous laughter at the dinner table, simply try acknowledging their feelings by saying something like, "Wow, I see something is really tickling your funny bone." The more you tell them to stop laughing or stop laughing so loud, they will probably be unable to stop and they will probably get even louder! (You know that uncontrollable feeling.) You can join in laughing yourself and say, "I see we do need a laughing break. Let's all laugh as hard as we can.'' Chances are they will get tired of laughing before you stop. Say nothing about it when they stop...then change the subject.

As far as potty talk, consider it "pre-school humor" in the heat of the moment and ignore most of it. At a quiet time, or family meeting, discuss some family silly words that are appropriate to say any time as much as they want. (like "Gadzookas'', or "Doopee, Doopee!''...you can use these chosen family expressions too.)

Don't forget to praise them when they are acting in a very appropriate manner. Be specific. "I like how respectful you were at the dinner table by not talking to loud because Daddy had such a bad headache. That really was very kind of both of you!"

As far as what to read...try the Bible!...and pray for a bit more patience. You're doing fine! Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Gail Reichlin