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Ask The Pocket Parent®
Q:
My child is 7 years old and has been bedwetting forever! I am so frustrated.
I do laundry daily. My child is afraid to go to a sleep over. I’ve
held back liquids and even offered rewards for a dry night. Is there anything
a parent can I do to help?
A: Yes! First, a parent can help by being understanding. Keep in mind that your child has no control over his/her bedwetting -- it’s not his/her fault. Many parents think that children who wet the bed past the age of five or six have a physical or psychological problem. In most cases this is not true. For the majority of bedwetters, it is a deep sleep condition that is often hereditary.
The most common pediatrician prescription for bedwetting is "don’t worry, your child will out grow it." But, how long do you have to wait? If you have asked your pediatrician to rule out any physical problems, AND if you have found it quite difficult to wake this child (in other words you can vacuum or blast the stereo in your child’s room while he/she remains totally asleep…then YOU CAN HELP YOUR CHILD! If your child is over the age of six and wants to be dry, it is no longer necessary to wait for the magic age that this curse will simply stop by itself. With your help your bedwetter can be conditioned to sleep through the night and remain dry.
Why do anything if most kids outgrow it? Your child can answer this question. Aside from embarrassment, bedwetters often exclude themselves from social activities such as a sleep over or an overnight camp experience. If they do participate in these activities they expend a great deal of effort to keep their secret. The three best reasons for HELPING YOUR CHILD are he/she will feel more in control, feel more confident, and in general have more positive self-esteem.
I was a parent of a bedwetter and I was frustrated for years doing mountains of laundry and frequent linen changes. I tried rewards and even punishment, which only led to family stress and arguments. I was reluctant to mention this problem to anyone because I promised my child not to tell this ‘family secret.’ But finally, I realized that helping my child was more important than keeping the secret.
When I sought help, I found many remedies to choose from, including acupuncture, herbs, hypnosis and drugs. I discovered that a parent can spend a lot of time and money and still not reach a cure. For my son, the most effective tool was a wetness alarm.
Wetness alarms come in many forms. The problem with many alarms is that they require numerous wires and uncomfortable pads. If a child does not sleep or urinate on the pad, the event goes undetected. If the child’s sleep is restless a wire could be disconnected and once again the event goes undetected. Finally, if the parent does not wake up and go to assist the child, the alarm is never reset to catch further incidents that may occur that evening.
Through repeated awakenings at the onset of each bedwetting event, a wetness alarm trains your child to feel the full bladder sensation during her sleep just as she feels during the daytime hours. The moment the sensor detects a drop of urine the alarm should sound. The noise or vibration caused by the alarm usually startles the child enough to bring him out of his deep sleep thereby allowing the child to contract the sphincter muscle to stop the flow of urine. It is interesting to note that a child who has multiple nightly bedwetting events learns faster than a child who has only one event per night. If you decide to restrict fluid intake, or you are using an alarm that can only detect one nighttime incident, your child will not learn as fast. Most wetness alarms are reported to be up to 70% successful and may take weeks to months to achieve the goal; however, they ALL require motivation on the part of both the child and the parent.
The Parents Resource Network has a very effective system that has a cure rate of 95%+ and at the same time avoids the common pitfalls of other wetness alarms. It wakes both parent and child and has no wires or scratchy pads. The child is able to sleep in a pair of regular underpants into which the sensor is comfortably secured. It is important to keep in mind that all wetness alarms, including the one recommended by the Parents Resource Network, are effective only with a child who wants to be dry and with the help of a willing parent.
Although nasal sprays (DDAVP) and other drugs will mask the problem, medication in general does not teach a child how to stay dry at night. Therefore many children have relapses when the drug is discontinued.
Finally, I wish to share a letter from a mom who used The Parents Resource Program with her eight-year-old daughter…
"Grateful" isn’t really a large enough word to describe how I feel about you and The Parent’s Resource Network’s program that has helped our 8 year old daughter. Nine months ago, Hannah was still wearing pull-ups to bed each night and soaking them through. I had read enough literature to know that bed-wetting at this age wasn’t by choice, but instead, was a skill her brain just hadn’t learned…to signal her to wake up when she needed to go. It was frustrating for her, and embarrassing to wear her pull-ups when she went to a sleep over at a friend’s house. A friend told me about your program and how it could teach Hannah’s brain to recognize the need to wake up and go to the bathroom. You handled what I can only call a ‘delicate’ conversation with her just wonderfully, assuring her over and over again that it was her brain that needed to learn the signal, not some fault of her own. You were able to preserve her self-dignity throughout the process, and we noticed results right away. Within 2 months, she was sleeping through the night ‘dry,’ and 6 months later, we finished the program altogether. What could have been a very demoralizing chapter in her memory will now be a very positive, affirming recollection.
Our experience with the program has been an excellent one. Than you for your support throughout, and we will heartily recommend it to others. I will also talk with our pediatrician and inform him as well. The girls especially remember you on your motorcycle!
Best Regards,
A Grateful Mom
I am available to work with you and your child to put an end to bedwetting. Please feel free to call me at (847) 675-3555 to discuss your concerns.
Sincerely,
Ron Reichlin
PRN Bedwetting Consultant
A: Yes! First, a parent can help by being understanding. Keep in mind that your child has no control over his/her bedwetting -- it’s not his/her fault. Many parents think that children who wet the bed past the age of five or six have a physical or psychological problem. In most cases this is not true. For the majority of bedwetters, it is a deep sleep condition that is often hereditary.
The most common pediatrician prescription for bedwetting is "don’t worry, your child will out grow it." But, how long do you have to wait? If you have asked your pediatrician to rule out any physical problems, AND if you have found it quite difficult to wake this child (in other words you can vacuum or blast the stereo in your child’s room while he/she remains totally asleep…then YOU CAN HELP YOUR CHILD! If your child is over the age of six and wants to be dry, it is no longer necessary to wait for the magic age that this curse will simply stop by itself. With your help your bedwetter can be conditioned to sleep through the night and remain dry.
Why do anything if most kids outgrow it? Your child can answer this question. Aside from embarrassment, bedwetters often exclude themselves from social activities such as a sleep over or an overnight camp experience. If they do participate in these activities they expend a great deal of effort to keep their secret. The three best reasons for HELPING YOUR CHILD are he/she will feel more in control, feel more confident, and in general have more positive self-esteem.
I was a parent of a bedwetter and I was frustrated for years doing mountains of laundry and frequent linen changes. I tried rewards and even punishment, which only led to family stress and arguments. I was reluctant to mention this problem to anyone because I promised my child not to tell this ‘family secret.’ But finally, I realized that helping my child was more important than keeping the secret.
When I sought help, I found many remedies to choose from, including acupuncture, herbs, hypnosis and drugs. I discovered that a parent can spend a lot of time and money and still not reach a cure. For my son, the most effective tool was a wetness alarm.
Wetness alarms come in many forms. The problem with many alarms is that they require numerous wires and uncomfortable pads. If a child does not sleep or urinate on the pad, the event goes undetected. If the child’s sleep is restless a wire could be disconnected and once again the event goes undetected. Finally, if the parent does not wake up and go to assist the child, the alarm is never reset to catch further incidents that may occur that evening.
Through repeated awakenings at the onset of each bedwetting event, a wetness alarm trains your child to feel the full bladder sensation during her sleep just as she feels during the daytime hours. The moment the sensor detects a drop of urine the alarm should sound. The noise or vibration caused by the alarm usually startles the child enough to bring him out of his deep sleep thereby allowing the child to contract the sphincter muscle to stop the flow of urine. It is interesting to note that a child who has multiple nightly bedwetting events learns faster than a child who has only one event per night. If you decide to restrict fluid intake, or you are using an alarm that can only detect one nighttime incident, your child will not learn as fast. Most wetness alarms are reported to be up to 70% successful and may take weeks to months to achieve the goal; however, they ALL require motivation on the part of both the child and the parent.
The Parents Resource Network has a very effective system that has a cure rate of 95%+ and at the same time avoids the common pitfalls of other wetness alarms. It wakes both parent and child and has no wires or scratchy pads. The child is able to sleep in a pair of regular underpants into which the sensor is comfortably secured. It is important to keep in mind that all wetness alarms, including the one recommended by the Parents Resource Network, are effective only with a child who wants to be dry and with the help of a willing parent.
Although nasal sprays (DDAVP) and other drugs will mask the problem, medication in general does not teach a child how to stay dry at night. Therefore many children have relapses when the drug is discontinued.
Finally, I wish to share a letter from a mom who used The Parents Resource Program with her eight-year-old daughter…
"Grateful" isn’t really a large enough word to describe how I feel about you and The Parent’s Resource Network’s program that has helped our 8 year old daughter. Nine months ago, Hannah was still wearing pull-ups to bed each night and soaking them through. I had read enough literature to know that bed-wetting at this age wasn’t by choice, but instead, was a skill her brain just hadn’t learned…to signal her to wake up when she needed to go. It was frustrating for her, and embarrassing to wear her pull-ups when she went to a sleep over at a friend’s house. A friend told me about your program and how it could teach Hannah’s brain to recognize the need to wake up and go to the bathroom. You handled what I can only call a ‘delicate’ conversation with her just wonderfully, assuring her over and over again that it was her brain that needed to learn the signal, not some fault of her own. You were able to preserve her self-dignity throughout the process, and we noticed results right away. Within 2 months, she was sleeping through the night ‘dry,’ and 6 months later, we finished the program altogether. What could have been a very demoralizing chapter in her memory will now be a very positive, affirming recollection.
Our experience with the program has been an excellent one. Than you for your support throughout, and we will heartily recommend it to others. I will also talk with our pediatrician and inform him as well. The girls especially remember you on your motorcycle!
Best Regards,
A Grateful Mom
I am available to work with you and your child to put an end to bedwetting. Please feel free to call me at (847) 675-3555 to discuss your concerns.
Sincerely,
Ron Reichlin
PRN Bedwetting Consultant
More advice from a mom who has been
there:
I have just read your article on bedwetting and I have another suggestion.
My son who is now 6 years old has/had this problem. However, I
discovered if I limited his milk and dairy product intake, he would
quit wetting his bed. A friend made me aware of this when I was
trying to potty train my son and was having problems. Well, I
took him off milk products totally for a couple weeks and it was a night
and day difference - for potty training and night bedwetting.
Now he is able to eat some milk products on a limited basis and if he
goes over his limit, it is guaranteed he'll wet the bed. We have
learned to manage his dairy product intake quite well and have overcome
the bedwetting problem. He drinks soy milk and has other dairy
products occassionally and on a limited basis. It may not work
for everyone, but it sure worked wonders for my son! Just a suggestion.
--L. Cherpin
Thanks for your tip! If you have a suggestion to help other parents, please email it to Pocket Parent and we will post it on the web site.
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