Q: Can you please help? I have two sons, a 1-year-old and a 7-year-old. The 1-year-old always swats or scratches his older sibling with out being provoked. Being that he is so young, how should we handle this situation? My older son wants so much to love and cuddle with his baby brother and yet he is always pushed away. Thanks, Mom of two

A: Sounds like you have a loving 7-year-old that can't wait to teach his little "bro" all about the world. It's hard to be patient when the baby is so young, but I guarantee they will have a wonderful relationship.

I can say that because my boys are eight years apart and they are now 25 and 17, and they just adore each other. Because of the age difference, they hardly ever had a sibling fight (one advantage to the age span) I also enjoyed the option of using an "in-house babysitter" so Mom could get some things done around the house.

Maybe it would help to have your son think of the "scratchy-swatty" behavior as that of a little kitten or puppy who both do similar things as part of their (immature) play. A one-year-old’s small motor skills are just beginning to develop and therefore in general lack coordination. Mom can help by keeping those fast growing fingernails trimmed short so they can't scratch anyone. It's also helpful to discuss staying out of swatting range.

Here are some suggestions of how your 7-year-old can interact with his little brother:

1.Sing and talk while the baby is being pushed in the stroller.

2.Help feed the baby while sitting in the highchair. Teach him how to hold one of the baby's hands as he spoons the food into the baby's mouth. Maybe Mom needs to hold one or both hands.

3. Have the 7-year-old "teach" or "show" the baby how to "make nice" or "be gentle" to a big stuffed animal.

4. Compliment the baby when he does a good job being nice and gentle either to a stuffed animal or a person. Feel free to ham it up, applaud loudly, etc.

5. Place a small soft object in the baby's hand (like a mini stuffed animal or cloth rattle) as you or your older child strokes his leg, arm or shoulder and say "nice baby", "gentle baby". We suggest a soft toy just in case the baby impulsively decides to hurl it at someone.

6. Try to give your baby a "high five" on your open palm. It gives him a target to hit his open little palm on.

7. Have your oldest son play with the baby while in the swing, as the swing comes forward he can try to make him laugh.

8.Help the baby with the development of small motor coordination. Place a small soft ball in the baby's hand and encourage him to drop it in the bucket and cheer for his successes.

Good luck, and have fun watching your sons develop their own special brotherly bond!

--Gail Reichlin