Q: If you are 10 years old, should you be allowed to watch PG-13 movies with a parent?

A: That’s a question parents of younger children struggle with all the time. Kids hear about a movie their friends saw, and then pressure Mom and Dad to let them watch it.

The Motion Picture Association of America’s movie rating PG-13 is defined as recommended parental guidance for children under the age of 13. A movie receives this rating because it has bad language, violence or sexual scenes, or a combination of these factors, that may be inappropriate or upsetting to younger children.

We believe the phrase "parental guidance’’ means the parent needs to take responsibility to determine whether the movie is appropriate for her child. And how do you do that?

First, you need to know your child’s personality. Every kid has her own perspective and is at her own developmental stage, which can determine what kind of movie you think is appropriate for her to watch. One movie that gives a 10-year-old nightmares won’t bother another 10-year-old. And a child who has overly aggressive behavior may not be a good candidate to watch a movie with a lot of violent scenes, while the same movie may not influence or bother another child.

Second, you need to know something about the content of the movie. One PG-13 movie may seem quite tame, while another is extremely violence or has uncomfortable sex scenes. And even some G-rated movies may even be inappropriate, depending on the child. The best way to know the content of a movie is to watch the movie yourself before deciding whether the child can watch it. Of course, this is a time-consuming chore for busy parents. We also have found it helpful to ask another parent we trust who saw the movie in question.

Another suggestion is to check out the web site http://www.screenit.com. This site provides an extensive list of movie reviews from G all the way to R, along with information about why the movie received its rating. It provides a helpful chart that rates various factors parents are concerned about, including violence, scary scenes, sex/nudity, profanity, alcohol/drugs and disrespect, along with detailed information, and whether a kid would want to see the movie.

If you decide to let your child watch a PG-13 movie, try to view it with him. I had some interesting discussions and learned more about my kids by watching movies together. When one actor swore in one movie, my daughter commented afterward that the movie was good, but the characters used some bad language that we don’t say. I was glad she understood that just because SOME people use bad language doesn’t mean we have to use bad language. We also have had discussions about how a movie was made, especially if there was a scary part. It helps children to talk about how they know the actors were just acting, and what they saw in the movie didn’t really happen. If the movie is based on a real story, it’s helpful to talk about that, too.

Realize that you learn as you go along. I made the mistake of letting my 10-year-old talk me into watching the movie "Mars Attacks’’ after it came out on video. In this movie, which is supposed to be a comedy, Martians come to Earth and start killing people right and left, including the President of the United States, the Congress and many other people. While some people might find blowing up the country’s leaders funny, my daughter found it troubling. The movie’s violence was just a little too realistic for her, and she had nightmares for weeks afterward.

Realize that sometimes you may make a bad call, and it’s NOT the end of the world, and does NOT make you a bad parent. I felt guilty after letting her daughter watch "Mars Attack’’, because it gave her nightmares. In hindsight, I realize that watching a scary movie didn’t cause my daughter any permanent damage, and I learned a lesson about what kind of movie my kids can handle.

So make a big bowl of popcorn and enjoy a movie together! Consider checking out our Family Flicks page, which recommends movies the whole family can watch together.

I can hardly wait until my kids are 15 and start asking to see R-rated movies!

--Jo Hansen